Ryanair throws stampy feet fit - again

This time, it's complaining that BAA fees mean it'll have to ground seven of its Stansted fleet over the summer.

One queue does it all?

Amongst the promises being made by Gordon Brown in the Commons this lunctime was a unified customs and passport check - what does that actually mean? That the same official will search through your dirty panties as checks your photo, or just that the people who do the two jobs will be from the same agency? And does that mean the Immigration Department will have to merge with the Customs & Revenue, or will Customs be split off from the tax people again? It's not entirely clear.

But we're sure everything will be carefully thought through before any sweeping changes are made. We're sure of that. Absolutely certain.

UPDATE:

Border and immigration and customs and UK visa staff will all be turned into one uniformed border police, Mr Brown says, adding a bit of flesh on to the bone of his proposals: "one single uniformed presence" at ports and borders.

That can be implemented "very quickly", he goes on.

But if they're wearing the same uniform, but employed by different departments, how will that actually work?

Qantas' new roo

Changing the tail-fin design of a national airline is always a risky business - the fear of Thatcher bearing down on you with her hankie in her hand must keep designers awake at night. But we can't really understand the fuss at the new Qantas logo. Indeed, if the airline hadn't made a fuss about their overhaul, we bet hardly anyone would have even noticed. Compared with the other changes of the logo, this is little more than a tweak.

John Lennon sees sense

Talking of John Lennon Airport, it's good to see they had a second thought about plans to charge people two pounds just to get into the airport. They appear to have replaced the scheme with a 'fasttrack' system, which allows you to pay two quid to woosh down a special security screening aisle instead of waiting at the back of the usual long queue.

Of course, in order to make money from this service, it could be argued that John Lennon has a vested interest in making the official, 'free' line move as slowly as possible. And all you're really doing is shifting the side of the barrier you'll be hanging about on.

It's an interesting approach to funding the extra costs of security, though, and one we'd imagine other airports will be watching carefully.

Ryanair expands in Liverpool

Ryanair are adding a number of new destinations from John Lennon Airport - from October, they'll grudgingly carry you to George Best Belfast City Airport, Hungarian capital Budapest, Tenerife, Fuerteventura and Bydgoszcz and Lodz in Poland.

Naturally, they're doing it for the Capital of Culture:

Neil Pakey, airport managing director, said: "These new services once again offer passengers from throughout the North West a range of destinations that will appeal to a cross section of travellers."

"In addition, the link with yet another European capital city is important in the run up to Capital of Culture year with visitors from Budapest soon having direct access to Liverpool."

Uh... why is it important, exactly? Are Liverpool now only expecting other Capital of Culture survivors to be interested in their event? Is there some sort of survey showing that Glaswegians visited subsequent Capitals of Culture in large numbers?

BAA suggests its poor organisation is a national emergency

BAA has apparently lost control of Heathrow to such an extent, it's pushing the Civil Aviation Authority to treat the opening of Terminal 5 in the same way it would a "terrorist attack":

Heathrow is at risk of further significant disruption to airline and passenger services following the opening of Terminal 5 in March next year believes BAA, the company that owns London’s airports.

BAA’s concern prompted the airport operator to ask its regulator, the Civil Aviation Authority, to consider suspending a penalty regime relating to service quality that requires BAA to pay rebates to airlines if the airport fails to meet certain service quality standards. A BAA spokesman said that it would be an exceptional suspension, analagous to “what happened after a terrorist attack”.

If a company can't even open up a new facility without causing disruption on such a grand scale, there are two conclusions. First, there are too many flights using Heathrow. Second, it's time to ask if BAA should be allowed to continue to run an important part of the UK's infrastructure.

Curious times in the airline industry

The Chief Executive at Heathrow has quit, just a few days after telling the Guardian the airport was 'bursting at the seams'. The departure seems a little, shall we say, rushed.

Meanwhile, British Airways' chairman has criticised the current 'one piece of handluggage' rule, which was introduced last year in response to the need to make John Reid seem decisive:

"We recognise that security is the top issue for passengers, given the current threat from terrorist activity. But to be effective, security has to be credible. Current UK security requirements are no longer credible," he told shareholders at the company's annual meeting.

Mr Broughton said the one bag rule was not applied elsewhere in Europe or in the US, undermining its security credentials. But it irritated passengers and stretched Heathrow's creaking baggage handling capability, causing conveyor belt breakdowns, which in turn meant baggage being delayed. The rule "makes London an unattractive place, particularly for transit passengers. It needs to be changed as soon as possible."

Forbidden City forbids Starbucks

We didn't know it was actually possible to turn Starbucks away - we thought they worked a bit like Earthquakes. But China's Forbidden City have told them to get slung. Starbucks are suggesting they don't mind a bit:

Seattle-based Starbucks said the decision was "very congenial" and it respected the site's motives.

Starbucks's vice-president for Greater China Eden Woon said: "There were several choices, one of which was to continue, but it would not carry the Starbucks name any more.

"We decided at the end that it is not our custom worldwide to have stores that have any other name, so therefore we decided the choice would be to leave."

Visa waiver scheme to be replaced by 48-hours notice?

The European business community is expressing more than a little disquiet at plans to force travellers to the US give a 48 hour period of notice before flying to the US. A pain for holidaymakers; almost impossible for last-minute business trips.

Do you get extra airmiles if your flight is diverted?

It looks like a platinum-plated passenger was responsible for the redirection of an LA-London flight to New York earlier today.

Michael Chertoff, director of Homeland Security, was somewhat upbeat about the idea that anyone can whisk past security by clambering onboard an employees-only bus and find themselves on the plane without further ado:

"The good news here is that you have somebody who's alert on the crew and they take appropriate steps at that point to deal with what might be a potentially dangerous situation," Chertoff said. "That's exactly what we are asking people to do: If you see something, say something."

The bad news, of course, is that everyone is spending hours and hours queueing, removing their shoes, having their kidneys x-rayed in a parody of security while there's a bloody great side-door swinging open. It is wonderful that the crew picked up on the anomaly - but if this had been someone intent on doing bad, it would probably have been too late by the time the plane had landed in New York, wouldn't it?

Also: we know they could hardly have said "We're landing because there's a desperado on board" over the intercom, but...

Anthony Loynes, one of the 188 passengers aboard the flight, told CNN the pilot told passengers the plane was stopping at JFK because the plane did not have enough fuel to make it to London.

That's the way to keep the passengers calm: "we somehow managed to set out with just enough fuel to plunge into the Atlantic..."

How green is EasyJet?

Despite the environmental claims it makes, it's about as green as its livery, reckons Channel 4 News.

Virgin loses it

We're at a bit of a loss as to how Arriva is even allowed to bid for rail franchises, much less take the Virgin cross-country services. Arriva had the Merseyrail contract taken off it in 2002 when its bid for an extension of the franchise didn't even make the shortlist; in the same year it lost a franchise in the North East. If you're considered to have made such a botch of actually running services they're taken off you and given to other people, why would you even be invited to try your hand again?

BA hide lost bags behind Bin Laden

It being summer, BA is having a mini-crisis: this time it's a massive backlog of baggage. BA say it's down to, ooh, terror alerts; the unions say it's understaffing.

I wonder which could be the real reason: oddly, no other airline has been reporting baggage difficulties, and yet all were affected by the idiocy alerts. And BA does have quite a bit of form for this sort of thing. I wonder.

BMi-ghtier

Interesting rumble on the aircraft market: BMI are doubling the size of their long haul fleet.

Hotel Review: Landsdowne Place Boutique & Spa

This review I wrote for TripAdvisor - it does refer to a stay twelve months ago now, so the hotel might have improved somewhat since

There were two factors which made this visit a bit of a pig beyond the hotel's control - it was ridiculously hot, and parking on the seafront was a nightmare.

However, the hotel didn't help. We'd been promised "a deluxe spacious queen size room." We got a fairly basic, tiny room which had been well-designed but finished to the sort of shoddy standards that would shame a 1970s Butlins cabin - the tap in the bathroom had clearly broken free from the basin more than once and was held in place by a hopeful splodge of mastic. The tiles could have been put in my hapless Uncle Ernie. The mirror was on the wall at an angle, and so on.

My requested morning paper didn't arrive.

The lift wasn't working, although we were led through the kitchens to use one at the back of the building - we noticed on the wall a memo dating back to the days when the hotel was part of Trust House Forte chain - a name which hasn't been used since the late 90s.

We had hoped this would have been a bit of a treat, because the hotel looks gorgeous in photos. It's a trick. The staff are very helpful, but they're working under difficult conditions and we quit the place almost as soon as we woke up.

Luton runsaway from expansion

Something of a surprise here: The owners of Luton Airport have withdrawn plans for a new runway. TBI reckon its because it would take them too long to make their money back on the investment, so it's not entirely a victory for environmentalists - although the costs it would have taken to go through a planning process which pretended to listen to their concerns must have helped it end up a game not worth the candle.

Hilton goes private

The hoovering up of all the world's assets by private equity firms continues, with Blackstone buying up Hilton to add to, erm, La Quinta.

Extrapolating, Hilton Hotels are now 10% owned by the people who bought you the Tiananmen Square massacre. Whether you find this more or less comforting than having your holiday fund Paris Hilton's lifestyle is a matter between you and your conscience.