AirTran customer left to stew in someone else's piss

Apparently, some of the flight crew on AirTran think that when you pay for a seat, you should be thankful for getting a seat, regardless of the state it's in:

A Winchendon woman said an airline did not help her after she sat in a urine-soaked seat on a West Palm Beach, Fla., to Boston flight on Sunday night.

"I was sitting maybe 30 seconds to minute and realized that my pants were soaked," Jennifer Castellano said.
[...]
"A flight attendant told me that on the previous flight a man had urinated on himself in that particular seat. And I said, 'I'm not sitting on a three hours flight soaked in someone else's urine. That is absolutely disgusting,'" Castellano said.

US Airways staff "not proud" of their airline

US Airways encourages its staff to ask open, honest questions of its senior management. It sounds like about the only thing they get right:

“Who thought it would be a good idea to have pink Pepto-Bismol ads on tray tables talking about diarrhea?” a worker wrote in July. The Pepto ads were replaced in August.

Another employee wondered in October 2006: “Why can we not get better quality snack items for our coach customers? One customer recently compared the generic pretzel nubs we serve to the fish food you buy in a .25 gumball machine at any zoo or park.”

Actually, fish food would appear to be too costly. “We’ve worked with our purchasing team,” management explained, “to bring in many companies to compete on our main cabin tidbit item (pretzels). To date, no one has been able to match our current cost, about 3 cents per package.”

Now, we know that times are tight for airlines - but it's telling that they're only judging the quality of the customer's experience on the basis of how little they can spend on it.

Heathrow Terminal 5: Selling sofas while you miss your plane

Ominous reports from Terminal 5 at Heathrow, which is apparently crammed with shops, but nothing you could possibly actually need when flying:

“I want to be the first airport to sell a sofa,” said [Nick] Ziebland, ["retail strategy director" of BAA] dodging shopfitters at the Paul Smith store, which is waiting for doors from a French chateau.

There are practical shops alongside the luxury brands, but fewer than passengers might expect. “We’re not going to have a Primark . . . not everyday socks and underwear,” said Mr Ziebland

Who really wants to buy a sofa when waiting for a plane? Perhaps this is just a sign that BAA are expecting to port to T5 the long delays and discomfort which has made Heathrow a symbol of shame at the nation's gateway: you'll wait so long, you'll need to buy your own sofa to get comfortable.

It certainly seems so, to judge by the FT:

Even with the shops shut, trials have shown some passengers missing their flight; this is not representative and will be fixed, stresses BAA.

There is also going to be no capacity increase from the gleaming Richard Rogers-designed Terminal 5: as soon as it opens, other areas will be closed for much-needed refurbishment.

Maybe you should think about a one-seater rather than a sofa, to make sure there's room for you.

United Airlines: More cash than they know what to do with

It's not so long ago that United Airlines were in bankruptcy, accepting US taxpayers' cash to cope in the turbulent times after September 11th 2001.

Now, though, they've got so much money, they're talking about giving half a billion to shareholders.

Legally, they might not have to share this cash with American taxpayers or those who held debt in the company before it went into protective bankruptcy... but isn't there a moral case? If it's really got half a billion quid it doesn't know what to do with, after the American nation bailed them out, maybe it should think about a sizeable charitable donation?

Globelink carries 325 across the Atlantic in a month

Liverpool's much-trumpeted direct flight to New York, operated by Globelink, was yanked last month after five months. It now turns out the plug was pulled after the service was used by just 325 people in its last month of operation.

Chains changed: Carvery crumbles hopes

We've not been to the Toby Carvery for ages and ages, and so visiting this Saturday should have been a treat. And, to be fair, the vegetables were better than ever, but the vegetarian option was a crushing disappointment. The butternut squash crumble used to be a large, delicious ramekin full of vegetables and sauce, topped off with a tasty cheese crumble. It was delicious - a signature dish, in fact.

Now, though, it's been reinvented as half a small squash, served up like a baked potato. Actually, potato skin would be more honest, as most of the flesh has been scooped out - presumably to be used elsewhere. The void is filled with a watery topping, a kind of mushroom soup. But a mushroom soup like you'd get from KwikSave in a basic can, not a thick, creamy delight. And of the crumble? Not a glimpse.

If we go back - and, really, it's an if now - I think I'll save the money and just go with the vegetables option.

Spring forward, fall over: Gatwick forgets to change their clocks

We always wonder what sort of person manages to miss the many messages instructing you to change your clocks as Summertime gives way again to GMT. After all, you'd have to be a bit daft to forget, wouldn't you?

It turns out BAA is a bit daft. They somehow managed to leave Gatwick stuck in BST when the rest of the nation shifted to GMT this morning, thereby creating a whole new flavour of chaos:

Arrival and departure times at Gatwick airport are being published incorrectly on Teletext, Ceefax, the Gatwick website and within the airport itself.

Not every flight is affected. Airport operator BAA said it was mainly domestic flights and some European flights.

You have to take your hat off to BAA - just when you think their amateur-hour performances can't get any worse, they manage to surprise you some more.

Rumours that Ferovial executives spent thirty minutes arguing amongst themselves "is it spring back, fall forward or the other way around" before someone was able to check the correct details in their daughter's My Little Pony Pocket Diary are probably just cruel jibes.

JLA strikes; LHR scolded

As Liverpool prepares for its year in the Capital of Culture glare - it's not clear if it'll be searchlight or spotlight yet - staff at John Lennon Airport are set to strike over a long-running wages dispute.

The offer - a percentage point below what Unions were looking for - won't be recommended to the firefighters, maintainence staff and birdscarers at JLA.

In other airport news, the Competition Commission has oked a rise in fees charged to airlines using Heathrow, but has also called for larger fines for the times when BAA screws up:

The commission says that during its inquiry it received “strong criticisms of quality of service, particularly at Heathrow.”

The problems were not all due to BAA but were also caused by other organisations at the airports including the airlines and the immigration authorities.

The report says, however, that “important aspects of BAA’s performance have been poor.” The existing regime for penalising BAA for weak performance based on service quality rebates paid to the airlines must be “extended and strengthened,” it says.

It criticises the present scheme because it omits “key aspects of performance, including maximum lengths of security queues, and the security arrangements for transfer passengers, airline staff and perimeter control points where performance has been particularly poor.”

BAA, of course, isn't happy at suggestions that it be made to compensate airlines more generously. Understandable, as Heathrow is such a shambles at the moment it'd be losing money like a drunk playing poker with cardsharks. It admits as much:

n a statement on Wednesday, BAA said that the commission’s proposals “introduce a high degree of risk” over plans to refinance its debt.

In other words: their capacity to foul-up operations would leave its future financial plans looking very dodgy indeed.

Small security breach at John Lennon

Some bloke allegedly broke through the vehicle entrance and ran towards the planes. Fair enough, could happen anywhere. What's alarming, though, is the different stories coming from the airline and the airport:

The airport say the man was stopped at the top of the stairs but Thomsonfly say he got on board where he was discovered by cabin crew.

Even more interestingly, apparently, a man running through the airport and getting on a plane (or not) is, apparently, not a breach of security according to Liverpool airport:

Robin Tudor, spokesman for Liverpool Airport, said: "The man forced his way through a security barrier by the main access gate on the airport apron.

"Security guards saw this happen, gave chase immediately and the man was apprehended.

"We don't regard this as a security breach. There was no lapse in security - the man broke a barrier to gain access.

"As a matter of course we have informed the Department of Transport about the incident and they have not instructed us to alter procedures."

So a barrier that doesn't keep people out isn't breached if it is, erm, broken and someone passes through it. It's funny that, in an age where taking a half-bottle of shampoo on a plane is considered dangerous, John Lennon is so laid back about people running onto airside.

Glimpsing Terminal 5

BBC News has had a sneak preview of Terminal 5 at Heathrow, where they're testing the baggage system:

Security officer Mick Pearman, who gave the BBC News website a tour, explains: "We've got cases and bags just like normal but without passengers."

Actually, Mr. Pearman, cases without passengers and passengers without bags is also pretty normal for Heathrow.

BA must be very forgiving

After all its tussles with Virgin over the years, to say nothing of Branson's airline dumping them in the compost over the rigging of fuel surcharges, it's surprisingly generous of BA to be one of the first advertisers on Virgin 1, Dickie's new TV service.

Or perhaps they're just going to display a caption reading "SWITCH OVER TO SKY ONE NOW".

Living like Alan Partridge

To be honest, staying in a Travelodge is something we'd only do when there was no alternative. We don't know if we should squawk in admiration or hang our heads in desperation, then, as we discover a couple who've lived in a Travelodge for the last decade. Before that, they lived in a different Travelodge for twelve years.

The best bit?

"We only have to walk across the car park for meals."

Yes, ten years of eating at a Little Chef into the bargain.

The Taco rings a bell: Salon explores Mexicanish takeaways

Mark Dery wonders at how a nation full of Mexicans can still believe in Taco Bell:

Daniel Olivas, on the other hand, seems to savor the cognitive dissonance of Taco Bell's "wonderfully wrong" gloss of Mexican cookery. "I admit to being awestruck by the warped brilliance it took to invent something like the Mexican Pizza," writes Olivas, a lawyer and fiction writer living in California's San Fernando Valley. Obviously, he concedes, "It's nothing like the food my mom makes, but I'm not expecting that ... I'm not one of those Chicanos who believes that Mexican food is sacred. I'll leave such snootiness to the French."

EasyJet exports customer service

Making it just that little bit of a cheaper experience: EasyJet is offshoring its customer call centre to Poland and Germany.

Hotel review: Parkhotel Sonnenhof, Oberammergau

First thing: In one of the public rooms, there was a massive wall display given over to blueprints for a massive expansion of the hotel buildings, so it's likely that the hotel will change a lot in the next twelve months or so; it's also possible that the slightly drab feel of the hotel may have been because they were planning to overhaul.

However, as it was in May: it's in a beautiful setting, with views across the river to the main part of town, the church and the mountains. We stayed on the suite on the top floor, which gave us the best views - although the downside was the tiny lift doesn't actually go to the top of the house, which is a bit of a problem.

The suite was actually shaped a bit like a railway carriage, with a one bed-room at one end and the double room at the other; the odd layout meant you had to go through the shower-room to get to the sitting room, which made it a bit redundant for practical use.

The hotel inside was a little bit tired, and the room too could do with a bit of a spruce up. Most disappointing was the boxes and boxes of flowers cascading down the front of the hotel on its website were missing, leaving a 1960s extension to dominate the frontage rather than the promised Bavarian chalet style which had drawn us in.

To be honest, after checking in we'd snuck across the river to ask the hotel there if they had rooms for the rest of the week: they hadn't, so we stayed put. And it wasn't terrible, just basic.

There's no coffee or tea in the rooms - common enough in Germnay - but instead, you could buy a coffee machine cartridge for two Euro. Even this outrageous scalping could be forgiven, though, were it not that the room the machine which turned the cartridges into slightly disappointing cups of coffee was locked at about 10.30pm. With the bar shut, any hope of a hot drink was scuppered until daybreak.

The wi-fi was the most modern aspect of the hotel - every part of the hotel seemed to have a great signal.

If you're security conscious, you'll probably want to give this place a miss: there's a side door open all day and well into the evening which enters into a pool room that's usually empty and leading onto the lift - we didn't have any trouble, but it did leave you feeling a bit uneasy when you head out for the day.

The staff were polite and helpful, but not especially warm; the breakfast was included, but this didn't really constitute an act of generosity.

Still, look out of the window: it's a beautiful place to be.

Hotel review: Staybridge Suites, Cherry Creek, Denver

We came to the Staybridge a couple of days after the first of the two big snows that hit Denver at the turn of the year - a lot of services in the city had been having a difficult time of it in a town that had ground to a halt, but the Staybridge kept going without - as far as we could see - missing a beat.

The suite was basic but very comfortable and in excellent condition - clean, everything working, comfy bed; TVs in both rooms, lots of storage space. (Handy, as it was Christmas, and we ended up with a lot of stuff we hadn't started out with.)

The staff were friendly and very helpful - especially Andrew on the front desk who instantly added all guests to his extended family. The business centre is a little sparse, but the rooms all had wired internet for free so, really, you only needed to pop down to print out the odd document - assuming there were no children playing solitaire on the PCs.

There is a hotel library, but to be honest it seems to consist of little more than books that have been pre-enjoyed and abandoned by guests: abandoned, presumably, in shame. The BridgeMart will contain no surprises for anyone familiar with the 24/7 shopping option in this chain - great for snacks and pop; less useful for satisfying nutritional requirements.There is, however, a Target bang opposite, so if you do require potatoes, cheeses or Taco Bell, you've got that on your doorstep. (There's also two strip clubs on the block, too, although it's not really that sort of neighbourhood.)

The breakfasts are basic - mildly more elaborate than you'd get in a British Holiday Inn Express - but the Sundowners can be quite fun; each evening a themed meet-and-greet; the only slight downside being when there's a mix of free beer and younger guests in the room at the same time.

The free laundry (Boxes of Tide a dollar each) is a great touch when you're having a long stay; there is ample parking - and even with a full-ish hotel and much of the lot under snow and pack ice, there was never any problem parking.

The hotel opens out onto Cherry Creek, on one of its nicest stretches in the neighbourhood. Great for a brisk walk - you won't need to use the small gym inside...

Chains changed: Pizza Hut

Oh, poor Pizza Hut, still struggling to find a role, pulled between the chundering hell of being a kiddie's canteen and the desire to move upmarket. It doesn't have any new ideas this time round, except adding the word "fantastico" to some menu items.

Some of the upmarketesque flourishes have survived - the goats cheese still lurks on the menu, like a bizarre misprint, and, on the back to the sticky, laminated card touting the (usually broken, never very-hygenic-looking) Ice Cream Factory some not-bad desserts are on offer. The salad bar seems to have changed again, but it was impossible to tell when we went yesterday lunchtime what had been dropped and what had merely run out and left unfilled, but there was some insulting couscous sitting in one of the tubs.

The horrific dip-cheese-stuffed-crust in fondue thing is still there - and surprisingly popular - but the quesadilla starter has been foofed up with the pointless addition of ham. (Or reformed ham containing water, as the menu fesses up in small print.)

When Little Chef finally folds, the tolling bell will be calling for the Hut.

Chains changed: TGI

The summer TGI Fridays menu suggests a chain looking to reign in costs - probably to pay the price of what seems to be about the fourth revamp of the interiors in a about a month. They have started using a nice shade of blue as an accent colour, though, which we wouldn't mind having in our bedroom.

Gone, though, from the menu is a number of their burger options - in particular, the ranch-and-mushroom topping (about the only vegetarian burger addition that had been on offer) has gone; the range of dishes sloshed over with Jack Daniels-flavoured sauces seems to have been taken in hand, too.

The theme this season is 'East Meets West' - because, of course, if you're looking for food with an Eastern theme, where better to go than, erm, an American-themed restaurant. The special two course menu - which edges up in price with every iteration - offers a range of food which it claims is typically American alongside food which is supposedly Eastern. Point to note: There is absolutely no point in even looking at this menu if you're vegetarian. There are no mains for you to choose.

The new menu does offer one surprise: Mac and Cheese bites, which is macaroni cheese in breadcrumbs and surprisingly morish. It's not sophisticated, but then you if you want sophistication, you're not going to to choose a restaurant which blares Sky Sports News over your head, are you?

Chains changed: Pizza Express

The chain restaurants have shed their skins (and wings) and launched their new menus.

At Pizza Express, the Northern Italy themed offering has gone, replaced by Rome - it's all nicely done and well thought-out (the menus are tricked out like busy, snatched holiday snaps) but the pizzas aren't as nice as the Northern ones - the loss of the Funghi Di Bosco is a bit of a blow, especially as the replacement vegetarian offering is one of those "bits of everything" lobbed on which ends up being a bit of an unsatisfying mess.

It would also be nice to see a themed pasta dish on the the menu, too. If you hadn't seen Northern Italy, this would have seemed appealing, but Rome can't compete with the tales of truffle-hunting pigs and donkey festivals. The big city just doesn't have the charm.

China Airlines tries to manage PR fallout

If you were China Airlines - whose safety record makes Soviet-era Aeroflot look like a very careful operation transporting a very fragile cargo very, very gently - you might think the best way to manage PR would be to try and stop their planes catching fire and falling out the sky.

Instead, they're going with the easier their logo out on gutted planes approach.