AirTran customer left to stew in someone else's piss

Apparently, some of the flight crew on AirTran think that when you pay for a seat, you should be thankful for getting a seat, regardless of the state it's in:

A Winchendon woman said an airline did not help her after she sat in a urine-soaked seat on a West Palm Beach, Fla., to Boston flight on Sunday night.

"I was sitting maybe 30 seconds to minute and realized that my pants were soaked," Jennifer Castellano said.
[...]
"A flight attendant told me that on the previous flight a man had urinated on himself in that particular seat. And I said, 'I'm not sitting on a three hours flight soaked in someone else's urine. That is absolutely disgusting,'" Castellano said.

US Airways staff "not proud" of their airline

US Airways encourages its staff to ask open, honest questions of its senior management. It sounds like about the only thing they get right:

“Who thought it would be a good idea to have pink Pepto-Bismol ads on tray tables talking about diarrhea?” a worker wrote in July. The Pepto ads were replaced in August.

Another employee wondered in October 2006: “Why can we not get better quality snack items for our coach customers? One customer recently compared the generic pretzel nubs we serve to the fish food you buy in a .25 gumball machine at any zoo or park.”

Actually, fish food would appear to be too costly. “We’ve worked with our purchasing team,” management explained, “to bring in many companies to compete on our main cabin tidbit item (pretzels). To date, no one has been able to match our current cost, about 3 cents per package.”

Now, we know that times are tight for airlines - but it's telling that they're only judging the quality of the customer's experience on the basis of how little they can spend on it.

Heathrow Terminal 5: Selling sofas while you miss your plane

Ominous reports from Terminal 5 at Heathrow, which is apparently crammed with shops, but nothing you could possibly actually need when flying:

“I want to be the first airport to sell a sofa,” said [Nick] Ziebland, ["retail strategy director" of BAA] dodging shopfitters at the Paul Smith store, which is waiting for doors from a French chateau.

There are practical shops alongside the luxury brands, but fewer than passengers might expect. “We’re not going to have a Primark . . . not everyday socks and underwear,” said Mr Ziebland

Who really wants to buy a sofa when waiting for a plane? Perhaps this is just a sign that BAA are expecting to port to T5 the long delays and discomfort which has made Heathrow a symbol of shame at the nation's gateway: you'll wait so long, you'll need to buy your own sofa to get comfortable.

It certainly seems so, to judge by the FT:

Even with the shops shut, trials have shown some passengers missing their flight; this is not representative and will be fixed, stresses BAA.

There is also going to be no capacity increase from the gleaming Richard Rogers-designed Terminal 5: as soon as it opens, other areas will be closed for much-needed refurbishment.

Maybe you should think about a one-seater rather than a sofa, to make sure there's room for you.

United Airlines: More cash than they know what to do with

It's not so long ago that United Airlines were in bankruptcy, accepting US taxpayers' cash to cope in the turbulent times after September 11th 2001.

Now, though, they've got so much money, they're talking about giving half a billion to shareholders.

Legally, they might not have to share this cash with American taxpayers or those who held debt in the company before it went into protective bankruptcy... but isn't there a moral case? If it's really got half a billion quid it doesn't know what to do with, after the American nation bailed them out, maybe it should think about a sizeable charitable donation?

Globelink carries 325 across the Atlantic in a month

Liverpool's much-trumpeted direct flight to New York, operated by Globelink, was yanked last month after five months. It now turns out the plug was pulled after the service was used by just 325 people in its last month of operation.

Chains changed: Carvery crumbles hopes

We've not been to the Toby Carvery for ages and ages, and so visiting this Saturday should have been a treat. And, to be fair, the vegetables were better than ever, but the vegetarian option was a crushing disappointment. The butternut squash crumble used to be a large, delicious ramekin full of vegetables and sauce, topped off with a tasty cheese crumble. It was delicious - a signature dish, in fact.

Now, though, it's been reinvented as half a small squash, served up like a baked potato. Actually, potato skin would be more honest, as most of the flesh has been scooped out - presumably to be used elsewhere. The void is filled with a watery topping, a kind of mushroom soup. But a mushroom soup like you'd get from KwikSave in a basic can, not a thick, creamy delight. And of the crumble? Not a glimpse.

If we go back - and, really, it's an if now - I think I'll save the money and just go with the vegetables option.

Spring forward, fall over: Gatwick forgets to change their clocks

We always wonder what sort of person manages to miss the many messages instructing you to change your clocks as Summertime gives way again to GMT. After all, you'd have to be a bit daft to forget, wouldn't you?

It turns out BAA is a bit daft. They somehow managed to leave Gatwick stuck in BST when the rest of the nation shifted to GMT this morning, thereby creating a whole new flavour of chaos:

Arrival and departure times at Gatwick airport are being published incorrectly on Teletext, Ceefax, the Gatwick website and within the airport itself.

Not every flight is affected. Airport operator BAA said it was mainly domestic flights and some European flights.

You have to take your hat off to BAA - just when you think their amateur-hour performances can't get any worse, they manage to surprise you some more.

Rumours that Ferovial executives spent thirty minutes arguing amongst themselves "is it spring back, fall forward or the other way around" before someone was able to check the correct details in their daughter's My Little Pony Pocket Diary are probably just cruel jibes.

JLA strikes; LHR scolded

As Liverpool prepares for its year in the Capital of Culture glare - it's not clear if it'll be searchlight or spotlight yet - staff at John Lennon Airport are set to strike over a long-running wages dispute.

The offer - a percentage point below what Unions were looking for - won't be recommended to the firefighters, maintainence staff and birdscarers at JLA.

In other airport news, the Competition Commission has oked a rise in fees charged to airlines using Heathrow, but has also called for larger fines for the times when BAA screws up:

The commission says that during its inquiry it received “strong criticisms of quality of service, particularly at Heathrow.”

The problems were not all due to BAA but were also caused by other organisations at the airports including the airlines and the immigration authorities.

The report says, however, that “important aspects of BAA’s performance have been poor.” The existing regime for penalising BAA for weak performance based on service quality rebates paid to the airlines must be “extended and strengthened,” it says.

It criticises the present scheme because it omits “key aspects of performance, including maximum lengths of security queues, and the security arrangements for transfer passengers, airline staff and perimeter control points where performance has been particularly poor.”

BAA, of course, isn't happy at suggestions that it be made to compensate airlines more generously. Understandable, as Heathrow is such a shambles at the moment it'd be losing money like a drunk playing poker with cardsharks. It admits as much:

n a statement on Wednesday, BAA said that the commission’s proposals “introduce a high degree of risk” over plans to refinance its debt.

In other words: their capacity to foul-up operations would leave its future financial plans looking very dodgy indeed.

Small security breach at John Lennon

Some bloke allegedly broke through the vehicle entrance and ran towards the planes. Fair enough, could happen anywhere. What's alarming, though, is the different stories coming from the airline and the airport:

The airport say the man was stopped at the top of the stairs but Thomsonfly say he got on board where he was discovered by cabin crew.

Even more interestingly, apparently, a man running through the airport and getting on a plane (or not) is, apparently, not a breach of security according to Liverpool airport:

Robin Tudor, spokesman for Liverpool Airport, said: "The man forced his way through a security barrier by the main access gate on the airport apron.

"Security guards saw this happen, gave chase immediately and the man was apprehended.

"We don't regard this as a security breach. There was no lapse in security - the man broke a barrier to gain access.

"As a matter of course we have informed the Department of Transport about the incident and they have not instructed us to alter procedures."

So a barrier that doesn't keep people out isn't breached if it is, erm, broken and someone passes through it. It's funny that, in an age where taking a half-bottle of shampoo on a plane is considered dangerous, John Lennon is so laid back about people running onto airside.

Glimpsing Terminal 5

BBC News has had a sneak preview of Terminal 5 at Heathrow, where they're testing the baggage system:

Security officer Mick Pearman, who gave the BBC News website a tour, explains: "We've got cases and bags just like normal but without passengers."

Actually, Mr. Pearman, cases without passengers and passengers without bags is also pretty normal for Heathrow.

BA must be very forgiving

After all its tussles with Virgin over the years, to say nothing of Branson's airline dumping them in the compost over the rigging of fuel surcharges, it's surprisingly generous of BA to be one of the first advertisers on Virgin 1, Dickie's new TV service.

Or perhaps they're just going to display a caption reading "SWITCH OVER TO SKY ONE NOW".

Living like Alan Partridge

To be honest, staying in a Travelodge is something we'd only do when there was no alternative. We don't know if we should squawk in admiration or hang our heads in desperation, then, as we discover a couple who've lived in a Travelodge for the last decade. Before that, they lived in a different Travelodge for twelve years.

The best bit?

"We only have to walk across the car park for meals."

Yes, ten years of eating at a Little Chef into the bargain.

The Taco rings a bell: Salon explores Mexicanish takeaways

Mark Dery wonders at how a nation full of Mexicans can still believe in Taco Bell:

Daniel Olivas, on the other hand, seems to savor the cognitive dissonance of Taco Bell's "wonderfully wrong" gloss of Mexican cookery. "I admit to being awestruck by the warped brilliance it took to invent something like the Mexican Pizza," writes Olivas, a lawyer and fiction writer living in California's San Fernando Valley. Obviously, he concedes, "It's nothing like the food my mom makes, but I'm not expecting that ... I'm not one of those Chicanos who believes that Mexican food is sacred. I'll leave such snootiness to the French."

EasyJet exports customer service

Making it just that little bit of a cheaper experience: EasyJet is offshoring its customer call centre to Poland and Germany.

Hotel review: Parkhotel Sonnenhof, Oberammergau

First thing: In one of the public rooms, there was a massive wall display given over to blueprints for a massive expansion of the hotel buildings, so it's likely that the hotel will change a lot in the next twelve months or so; it's also possible that the slightly drab feel of the hotel may have been because they were planning to overhaul.

However, as it was in May: it's in a beautiful setting, with views across the river to the main part of town, the church and the mountains. We stayed on the suite on the top floor, which gave us the best views - although the downside was the tiny lift doesn't actually go to the top of the house, which is a bit of a problem.

The suite was actually shaped a bit like a railway carriage, with a one bed-room at one end and the double room at the other; the odd layout meant you had to go through the shower-room to get to the sitting room, which made it a bit redundant for practical use.

The hotel inside was a little bit tired, and the room too could do with a bit of a spruce up. Most disappointing was the boxes and boxes of flowers cascading down the front of the hotel on its website were missing, leaving a 1960s extension to dominate the frontage rather than the promised Bavarian chalet style which had drawn us in.

To be honest, after checking in we'd snuck across the river to ask the hotel there if they had rooms for the rest of the week: they hadn't, so we stayed put. And it wasn't terrible, just basic.

There's no coffee or tea in the rooms - common enough in Germnay - but instead, you could buy a coffee machine cartridge for two Euro. Even this outrageous scalping could be forgiven, though, were it not that the room the machine which turned the cartridges into slightly disappointing cups of coffee was locked at about 10.30pm. With the bar shut, any hope of a hot drink was scuppered until daybreak.

The wi-fi was the most modern aspect of the hotel - every part of the hotel seemed to have a great signal.

If you're security conscious, you'll probably want to give this place a miss: there's a side door open all day and well into the evening which enters into a pool room that's usually empty and leading onto the lift - we didn't have any trouble, but it did leave you feeling a bit uneasy when you head out for the day.

The staff were polite and helpful, but not especially warm; the breakfast was included, but this didn't really constitute an act of generosity.

Still, look out of the window: it's a beautiful place to be.

Hotel review: Staybridge Suites, Cherry Creek, Denver

We came to the Staybridge a couple of days after the first of the two big snows that hit Denver at the turn of the year - a lot of services in the city had been having a difficult time of it in a town that had ground to a halt, but the Staybridge kept going without - as far as we could see - missing a beat.

The suite was basic but very comfortable and in excellent condition - clean, everything working, comfy bed; TVs in both rooms, lots of storage space. (Handy, as it was Christmas, and we ended up with a lot of stuff we hadn't started out with.)

The staff were friendly and very helpful - especially Andrew on the front desk who instantly added all guests to his extended family. The business centre is a little sparse, but the rooms all had wired internet for free so, really, you only needed to pop down to print out the odd document - assuming there were no children playing solitaire on the PCs.

There is a hotel library, but to be honest it seems to consist of little more than books that have been pre-enjoyed and abandoned by guests: abandoned, presumably, in shame. The BridgeMart will contain no surprises for anyone familiar with the 24/7 shopping option in this chain - great for snacks and pop; less useful for satisfying nutritional requirements.There is, however, a Target bang opposite, so if you do require potatoes, cheeses or Taco Bell, you've got that on your doorstep. (There's also two strip clubs on the block, too, although it's not really that sort of neighbourhood.)

The breakfasts are basic - mildly more elaborate than you'd get in a British Holiday Inn Express - but the Sundowners can be quite fun; each evening a themed meet-and-greet; the only slight downside being when there's a mix of free beer and younger guests in the room at the same time.

The free laundry (Boxes of Tide a dollar each) is a great touch when you're having a long stay; there is ample parking - and even with a full-ish hotel and much of the lot under snow and pack ice, there was never any problem parking.

The hotel opens out onto Cherry Creek, on one of its nicest stretches in the neighbourhood. Great for a brisk walk - you won't need to use the small gym inside...

Chains changed: Pizza Hut

Oh, poor Pizza Hut, still struggling to find a role, pulled between the chundering hell of being a kiddie's canteen and the desire to move upmarket. It doesn't have any new ideas this time round, except adding the word "fantastico" to some menu items.

Some of the upmarketesque flourishes have survived - the goats cheese still lurks on the menu, like a bizarre misprint, and, on the back to the sticky, laminated card touting the (usually broken, never very-hygenic-looking) Ice Cream Factory some not-bad desserts are on offer. The salad bar seems to have changed again, but it was impossible to tell when we went yesterday lunchtime what had been dropped and what had merely run out and left unfilled, but there was some insulting couscous sitting in one of the tubs.

The horrific dip-cheese-stuffed-crust in fondue thing is still there - and surprisingly popular - but the quesadilla starter has been foofed up with the pointless addition of ham. (Or reformed ham containing water, as the menu fesses up in small print.)

When Little Chef finally folds, the tolling bell will be calling for the Hut.

Chains changed: TGI

The summer TGI Fridays menu suggests a chain looking to reign in costs - probably to pay the price of what seems to be about the fourth revamp of the interiors in a about a month. They have started using a nice shade of blue as an accent colour, though, which we wouldn't mind having in our bedroom.

Gone, though, from the menu is a number of their burger options - in particular, the ranch-and-mushroom topping (about the only vegetarian burger addition that had been on offer) has gone; the range of dishes sloshed over with Jack Daniels-flavoured sauces seems to have been taken in hand, too.

The theme this season is 'East Meets West' - because, of course, if you're looking for food with an Eastern theme, where better to go than, erm, an American-themed restaurant. The special two course menu - which edges up in price with every iteration - offers a range of food which it claims is typically American alongside food which is supposedly Eastern. Point to note: There is absolutely no point in even looking at this menu if you're vegetarian. There are no mains for you to choose.

The new menu does offer one surprise: Mac and Cheese bites, which is macaroni cheese in breadcrumbs and surprisingly morish. It's not sophisticated, but then you if you want sophistication, you're not going to to choose a restaurant which blares Sky Sports News over your head, are you?

Chains changed: Pizza Express

The chain restaurants have shed their skins (and wings) and launched their new menus.

At Pizza Express, the Northern Italy themed offering has gone, replaced by Rome - it's all nicely done and well thought-out (the menus are tricked out like busy, snatched holiday snaps) but the pizzas aren't as nice as the Northern ones - the loss of the Funghi Di Bosco is a bit of a blow, especially as the replacement vegetarian offering is one of those "bits of everything" lobbed on which ends up being a bit of an unsatisfying mess.

It would also be nice to see a themed pasta dish on the the menu, too. If you hadn't seen Northern Italy, this would have seemed appealing, but Rome can't compete with the tales of truffle-hunting pigs and donkey festivals. The big city just doesn't have the charm.

China Airlines tries to manage PR fallout

If you were China Airlines - whose safety record makes Soviet-era Aeroflot look like a very careful operation transporting a very fragile cargo very, very gently - you might think the best way to manage PR would be to try and stop their planes catching fire and falling out the sky.

Instead, they're going with the easier their logo out on gutted planes approach.

Local schools visit Climate Camp

Scenes you don't usually see in Climate Camp coverage: Local schools visiting the camp. Heathrow Primary School would be one of three schools demolished to make room for the third runway.

Recommended Restaurant: Beau Jos

Counting down to the next trip to Denver, I'm looking at Beau Jo's Pizza place. They do Colorado Pizzas - the twist being that you get honey to dip the crusts into.

They do a lunch buffet, with a range of pies and salads to pick from, but looking through their website, I'm starting to wonder why I've never had their skillets. Listen to this:

We line the skillet with our signature roasted garlic cream sauce, and then toss in sweet roma tomatoes, artichoke hearts, sliced mushrooms, fire-roasted red peppers and fresh broccoli florets. This masterpiece is then crowned with a three-cheese blend of part-skim low-fat mozzarella, feta and smoked provolone.

The atmosphere is faux-mineshaft - kind of a Coloradian take on British pubs built in the 1980s but with beams and ingelnooks, I suppose - and the pricing is almost ridiculously cheap. A place to go when you're hungry.

They're down to just one branch in Denver, but they're scattered across Colorado.

It's not just Heathrow: LAX has nightmare day

Trouble over at LAX, where computer failure made the airport grind to a halt.

To make matters worse, it was out of the airport's control - the computer belonged to Customs and Border Patrol; 20,000 people were kept waiting for hours while officials tried to get their system back online.

Seven flights were redirected - to Ontario - and three people were hospitalised as a result of the stress of hanging around in the airport.

OFT tells airlines: Be honest

The days of "flights for 1p" - which never actually existed - are to end, as the Office of Fair Trading is ordering budget airlines to only promote fairs after fixed costs.

Aer Lingus heads north

Aer Lingus have dropped their Shannon- Heathrow routes, in order to free up resources to operate a Belfast hub. It's their first hub outside the Irish republic:

The announcement is an early sign the newly-privatised airline company is ready to ignore local political fall-out when taking decisions it considers in its commercial interest.

Ian Paisley, the hardline protestant politician who heads the four-party executive at Stormont as first minister alongside Martin McGuinness, a former IRA commander, hailed the decision by Aer Lingus as “a shining example of how competitive our economy is becoming”.

And whoever would have thought you'd hear Piasley welcoming the Irish flag-carrier operating on his patch?

Heathrow expansion protests - update

UK Indymedia are reporting that police are preventing the delivery of toilets and water to the Climate Camp - although there doesn't seem to be any reason for the legal settlement to be prevented from receiving services.

Yeah... but it's no Munich, is it?

A love song to Frankfurt Airport:



[via, somewhat surprisingly, Stephen Pollard's Spectator blog]

BA: Now loses passengers as well as baggage

We're not sure if BA have officially decided to turn themselves from an airline into some sort of Vaudeville act, but that's certainly the impression they're giving: they've now managed to start mislaying passengers, like the 83 year-old man who they left stranded in Heathrow. During his time there, he had a stroke, a serious fall, and is now facing a £20,000 flight if he wants to return to his home.

What was it PJ O'Rourke used to say about BA in those ads?

Ryanair throws stampy feet fit - again

This time, it's complaining that BAA fees mean it'll have to ground seven of its Stansted fleet over the summer.

One queue does it all?

Amongst the promises being made by Gordon Brown in the Commons this lunctime was a unified customs and passport check - what does that actually mean? That the same official will search through your dirty panties as checks your photo, or just that the people who do the two jobs will be from the same agency? And does that mean the Immigration Department will have to merge with the Customs & Revenue, or will Customs be split off from the tax people again? It's not entirely clear.

But we're sure everything will be carefully thought through before any sweeping changes are made. We're sure of that. Absolutely certain.

UPDATE:

Border and immigration and customs and UK visa staff will all be turned into one uniformed border police, Mr Brown says, adding a bit of flesh on to the bone of his proposals: "one single uniformed presence" at ports and borders.

That can be implemented "very quickly", he goes on.

But if they're wearing the same uniform, but employed by different departments, how will that actually work?

Qantas' new roo

Changing the tail-fin design of a national airline is always a risky business - the fear of Thatcher bearing down on you with her hankie in her hand must keep designers awake at night. But we can't really understand the fuss at the new Qantas logo. Indeed, if the airline hadn't made a fuss about their overhaul, we bet hardly anyone would have even noticed. Compared with the other changes of the logo, this is little more than a tweak.

John Lennon sees sense

Talking of John Lennon Airport, it's good to see they had a second thought about plans to charge people two pounds just to get into the airport. They appear to have replaced the scheme with a 'fasttrack' system, which allows you to pay two quid to woosh down a special security screening aisle instead of waiting at the back of the usual long queue.

Of course, in order to make money from this service, it could be argued that John Lennon has a vested interest in making the official, 'free' line move as slowly as possible. And all you're really doing is shifting the side of the barrier you'll be hanging about on.

It's an interesting approach to funding the extra costs of security, though, and one we'd imagine other airports will be watching carefully.

Ryanair expands in Liverpool

Ryanair are adding a number of new destinations from John Lennon Airport - from October, they'll grudgingly carry you to George Best Belfast City Airport, Hungarian capital Budapest, Tenerife, Fuerteventura and Bydgoszcz and Lodz in Poland.

Naturally, they're doing it for the Capital of Culture:

Neil Pakey, airport managing director, said: "These new services once again offer passengers from throughout the North West a range of destinations that will appeal to a cross section of travellers."

"In addition, the link with yet another European capital city is important in the run up to Capital of Culture year with visitors from Budapest soon having direct access to Liverpool."

Uh... why is it important, exactly? Are Liverpool now only expecting other Capital of Culture survivors to be interested in their event? Is there some sort of survey showing that Glaswegians visited subsequent Capitals of Culture in large numbers?

BAA suggests its poor organisation is a national emergency

BAA has apparently lost control of Heathrow to such an extent, it's pushing the Civil Aviation Authority to treat the opening of Terminal 5 in the same way it would a "terrorist attack":

Heathrow is at risk of further significant disruption to airline and passenger services following the opening of Terminal 5 in March next year believes BAA, the company that owns London’s airports.

BAA’s concern prompted the airport operator to ask its regulator, the Civil Aviation Authority, to consider suspending a penalty regime relating to service quality that requires BAA to pay rebates to airlines if the airport fails to meet certain service quality standards. A BAA spokesman said that it would be an exceptional suspension, analagous to “what happened after a terrorist attack”.

If a company can't even open up a new facility without causing disruption on such a grand scale, there are two conclusions. First, there are too many flights using Heathrow. Second, it's time to ask if BAA should be allowed to continue to run an important part of the UK's infrastructure.

Curious times in the airline industry

The Chief Executive at Heathrow has quit, just a few days after telling the Guardian the airport was 'bursting at the seams'. The departure seems a little, shall we say, rushed.

Meanwhile, British Airways' chairman has criticised the current 'one piece of handluggage' rule, which was introduced last year in response to the need to make John Reid seem decisive:

"We recognise that security is the top issue for passengers, given the current threat from terrorist activity. But to be effective, security has to be credible. Current UK security requirements are no longer credible," he told shareholders at the company's annual meeting.

Mr Broughton said the one bag rule was not applied elsewhere in Europe or in the US, undermining its security credentials. But it irritated passengers and stretched Heathrow's creaking baggage handling capability, causing conveyor belt breakdowns, which in turn meant baggage being delayed. The rule "makes London an unattractive place, particularly for transit passengers. It needs to be changed as soon as possible."

Forbidden City forbids Starbucks

We didn't know it was actually possible to turn Starbucks away - we thought they worked a bit like Earthquakes. But China's Forbidden City have told them to get slung. Starbucks are suggesting they don't mind a bit:

Seattle-based Starbucks said the decision was "very congenial" and it respected the site's motives.

Starbucks's vice-president for Greater China Eden Woon said: "There were several choices, one of which was to continue, but it would not carry the Starbucks name any more.

"We decided at the end that it is not our custom worldwide to have stores that have any other name, so therefore we decided the choice would be to leave."

Visa waiver scheme to be replaced by 48-hours notice?

The European business community is expressing more than a little disquiet at plans to force travellers to the US give a 48 hour period of notice before flying to the US. A pain for holidaymakers; almost impossible for last-minute business trips.

Do you get extra airmiles if your flight is diverted?

It looks like a platinum-plated passenger was responsible for the redirection of an LA-London flight to New York earlier today.

Michael Chertoff, director of Homeland Security, was somewhat upbeat about the idea that anyone can whisk past security by clambering onboard an employees-only bus and find themselves on the plane without further ado:

"The good news here is that you have somebody who's alert on the crew and they take appropriate steps at that point to deal with what might be a potentially dangerous situation," Chertoff said. "That's exactly what we are asking people to do: If you see something, say something."

The bad news, of course, is that everyone is spending hours and hours queueing, removing their shoes, having their kidneys x-rayed in a parody of security while there's a bloody great side-door swinging open. It is wonderful that the crew picked up on the anomaly - but if this had been someone intent on doing bad, it would probably have been too late by the time the plane had landed in New York, wouldn't it?

Also: we know they could hardly have said "We're landing because there's a desperado on board" over the intercom, but...

Anthony Loynes, one of the 188 passengers aboard the flight, told CNN the pilot told passengers the plane was stopping at JFK because the plane did not have enough fuel to make it to London.

That's the way to keep the passengers calm: "we somehow managed to set out with just enough fuel to plunge into the Atlantic..."

How green is EasyJet?

Despite the environmental claims it makes, it's about as green as its livery, reckons Channel 4 News.

Virgin loses it

We're at a bit of a loss as to how Arriva is even allowed to bid for rail franchises, much less take the Virgin cross-country services. Arriva had the Merseyrail contract taken off it in 2002 when its bid for an extension of the franchise didn't even make the shortlist; in the same year it lost a franchise in the North East. If you're considered to have made such a botch of actually running services they're taken off you and given to other people, why would you even be invited to try your hand again?

BA hide lost bags behind Bin Laden

It being summer, BA is having a mini-crisis: this time it's a massive backlog of baggage. BA say it's down to, ooh, terror alerts; the unions say it's understaffing.

I wonder which could be the real reason: oddly, no other airline has been reporting baggage difficulties, and yet all were affected by the idiocy alerts. And BA does have quite a bit of form for this sort of thing. I wonder.

BMi-ghtier

Interesting rumble on the aircraft market: BMI are doubling the size of their long haul fleet.

Hotel Review: Landsdowne Place Boutique & Spa

This review I wrote for TripAdvisor - it does refer to a stay twelve months ago now, so the hotel might have improved somewhat since

There were two factors which made this visit a bit of a pig beyond the hotel's control - it was ridiculously hot, and parking on the seafront was a nightmare.

However, the hotel didn't help. We'd been promised "a deluxe spacious queen size room." We got a fairly basic, tiny room which had been well-designed but finished to the sort of shoddy standards that would shame a 1970s Butlins cabin - the tap in the bathroom had clearly broken free from the basin more than once and was held in place by a hopeful splodge of mastic. The tiles could have been put in my hapless Uncle Ernie. The mirror was on the wall at an angle, and so on.

My requested morning paper didn't arrive.

The lift wasn't working, although we were led through the kitchens to use one at the back of the building - we noticed on the wall a memo dating back to the days when the hotel was part of Trust House Forte chain - a name which hasn't been used since the late 90s.

We had hoped this would have been a bit of a treat, because the hotel looks gorgeous in photos. It's a trick. The staff are very helpful, but they're working under difficult conditions and we quit the place almost as soon as we woke up.

Luton runsaway from expansion

Something of a surprise here: The owners of Luton Airport have withdrawn plans for a new runway. TBI reckon its because it would take them too long to make their money back on the investment, so it's not entirely a victory for environmentalists - although the costs it would have taken to go through a planning process which pretended to listen to their concerns must have helped it end up a game not worth the candle.

Hilton goes private

The hoovering up of all the world's assets by private equity firms continues, with Blackstone buying up Hilton to add to, erm, La Quinta.

Extrapolating, Hilton Hotels are now 10% owned by the people who bought you the Tiananmen Square massacre. Whether you find this more or less comforting than having your holiday fund Paris Hilton's lifestyle is a matter between you and your conscience.

Schiphol Airport, Amsterdam

These are a few notes on Amsterdam's main airport which I added to the Tripadvisor wiki:

Onward Travel

Getting from plane to train is incredibly simple - the railway station is inside the arrivals hall; purchase your tickets from the machine on ground level (it takes credit and some debit cards as well as cash), go down the moving walkway or lift, and you're ready to go.

As of October 2006, the journey to Amsterdam Central cost about six Euros first class, and takes somewhere around fifteen minutes; there seem to be fast trains every ten minutes or so at peak time.

Schiphol Airside

It's worth noting that going airside at Schiphol is a slightly different experience from other airports - you pass through a security ID checkpoint and come to airside shopping before you go through your main security clearance. If you're flying to America, you'll find that you can shop, but your purchases have to be delivered to you at the gate - you won't be able to take your amusing clog-shaped chocolates or perfume through security yourself, but this could be an advantage: less to carry.

Airside there's mostly tourist-item and usual airport shopping, a couple of bars, a bookshop selling English-language books; a McDonalds with a small wifi work area; an ocean-themed bar and a few other small places to eat. You have access to small trolleys to push your hand-baggage about the terminal, which is a really nice touch.

Where did the ground come from?

A plane lands at Heathrow in thick, thick fog. Sometimes it's bestter to up the back and not know these things are going on, don't you think?

Recommended restaurant: Annie's, Denver

Annies is, I think, the best place I've ever eaten breakfast. Indeed one of those places where breakfast shades into lunch without that creeping sense you sometimes get that the place is a breakfast bar that's staying open too late, or a lunch venue that's struggling to get going too early in the day.

It's tucked into the heart of the university, and there's a 7-11 across the carpark which allows you to grab a New York Times if you need to read while you eat; the menu is online to speak for itself.

Review: Melia White House, London

This was a quick jaunt down to London for a romantic treat, and the White House provided a lovely backdrop - I suspect the management are hoping the place is jaw-dropping, and on that basis it falls short, but it's tidy, clean and (mostly) well-staffed, although it was a bit surprising to have to wait five minutes for the four members of reception to finish tapping at their keyboards to be acknowledged. To be fair, they did apologise for keeping us waiting.


The lift service is, frankly, bizarre - you tell the system where you're going through a central control panel, which then assigns you a lift. Once you've entered your floor, that's it - there's no way to punch in a different number once it arrives. I suspect the idea is meant to be efficient, to stop several lifts heading for the same floor at the same time, which might make sense in a skyscraper. In a seven story building, it doesn't work - it's slow, glitchy, and created a knot of confused people stood around trying to work out how to get up and down. In fact, going down for breakfast there were so many people stood hoping for a lift to show up on our floor that we decided to go down the stairs instead. We were already on our cereals before the others made it into the breakfast room.

The room was clean, in good condition (some slight damp coming through from the shower, a bit of ripped wallpaper, but nothing seriously wrong) but the bath is very high, very deep and very narrow - wouldn't recommend it for people who have mobility problems, and not for people who like baths. There's a list of relaxing bath salts available, but how relaxing a bath would be if you had to take it on your side, I'm not sure.

We had to fix our TV - we got no picture - the aerial had come out the back. (I'm aware some TA users mark down on this sort of thing.) And why a one hundred quid a night hotel feels it can get away with providing standard Nescafe in the rooms - a drink that bears only a passing relationship with coffee - I'll never understand.

Although just off Marleybone Road, the double glazing keeps the sound out, but not, unfortunately, the noise of the couple in the next room having sex. That didn't last that long - good for us, slightly disappointing for them, I fear.

Breakfast had a wide selection of foods on the buffet, although the scrambled eggs were so liquid as to count as a drink and the range of jams was limited to a choice of two; they served up until 10.30 which is pretty good by UK standards. (This might be a Saturday only time, though.)

All in all, a great stay, and a great location - bang opposite Great Portland Street tube and walking distance of Regents Park and Euston Station.

Restaurant review: TGI Fridays Fifth Avenue New York

Visited: 17th December 2006

We weren't expecting much - we knew choosing a chain restaurant in a tourist trap the week before Christmas wasn't going to see us given an experience much beyond the basic, but we hadn't recalibrated enough, unfortunately.

First, I must make it clear that the greet and wait staff were wonderful, especially given the seething masses attempting to get fed in the restaurant - very polite, very quick, very helpful and very professional.

But the sheer number of people in the place made for a miserable experience - there must have been a couple of hundred people crammed in to the three floors, and the noise and heat that this implied.

More disappointingly, if you're being charged eye-boggling prices - there's the tourist mark-up you'd expect - you'd at least hope for edible food. But the potato skins tasted more of the ground they had been grown in than potato, and the toppings were stingy. I ended up scraping the cheese off the spud, but eleven bucks for a handfull of cheese, served in something akin to a chicken coop? Tourists are easy pickings, sure, but TGI could still make a massive profit without damaging their reputation, surely?

Review: Hyatt, Jersey City on the Hudson

Thanks to the wonderful PATH train - which goes from outside the hotel's front door - this hotel is only five minutes from the World Trade Center station, and about half the price of anything on that side of the Hudson. Better yet, you get a tremendous view of the sunrising over Manhattan every morning - something you just can't see from the New York side.

The hotel was very clean, well-run and the staff were pretty generally friendly and efficient - one of the clerks on the concierge desk seemed to be less interested in answering tourist questions than the others, but maybe we just got him on a bad day.

The breakfast was great - not the widest buffet range we've ever seen, but what was there was tasty and fresh, and you can't argue with the view. We had supper in the restaurant one evening - it was lovingly cooked and well presented, but we'd have been happy enough with something a bit more downhome.

The hotel is located in a business district - there's a Uno and a burger bar within walking distance, and a couple of other restaurants aimed more at lunctime office staff; there's a CVS pharmacy in the gallery opposite the hotel, but this is closed at weekends. In other words: if you're there on Saturday or Sunday, make sure you've got the things you need with you, or wait until you can get into New York to shop and eat.

There's a cashpoint and a small shop of a mainly tourist-tat nature in the hotel.

We were given a choice on booking in of Manhattan View or Liberty View - nice, but be warned: Lady Liberty is quite a strong squint in the distance.

Review: Crowne Plaza, Heathrow Airport

Visted: December 2006

It always makes sense to stay in a Heathrow hotel before you fly - the last thing you need is to be sat on the M1 in a panic as the check-in time gets closer and closer; there's a range of hotels lining alongside the runways, and this competition seems to keep standards pretty high.

This was our first time trying the Crowne Plaza, and although we were a little worried when we turned up and discovered an office party in full swing, the room was quiet, comfortable and spacious and the hotel busy but well-run.

We had room service - the food isn't especially cheap but was tasty; the coffee appeared to be a pot of instant coffee which was disappointing (I could have used the complementary stuff and saved two quid). There were restaurants in the hotel, although everything seems to run off the same menu. It's worth mentioning that there isn't much else in the immediate neighbourhood - if you're looking for something to eat, you're tied to the delights of the Crowne Plaza.

There's a small gift shop, which is slightly better for novelty items and local newspapers than traveler's luxuries.

We left before breakfast - there is a Hoppa bus service, which we had considered using, but mysteriously the bus parked up outside suddenly put on its Out Of Service sign and drove off. We got a taxi instead - two quid more, but much quicker and straight to the terminal. If there are two or more of you, or you have a lot of luggage, this is the way to go.

Nobody needs to be more than one night in an airport hotel, and most you wouldn't want to. But this is one of the few where you could quite happily spend a week.

Not so much a blog, more a scratch pad

This blog isn't really a blog as such; it's more a place to stick copies of the stuff I've posted to TripAdvisor, so I've got back-up copies of it. And Junction 13? That's where we join the motorway, so effectively the start of all trips.